MACHINES BEHAVING BADLY

Everyone, it seems, has a mobile these days, even children in kindergarten. Billions of text messages fly round the world every day, and computers and call centres run every aspect of our lives. But is all this really making life better? Here are seven good reasons to hate modern technology.

A it doesn’t save you time
Many people make the mistake of thinking that technology is there to save you time. Wrong. It is there to give people new ways of filling their time. Take personal computers. Learning how to use all the features of a new PC uses up all the time that having a computer saves. And what about all the hours you spend staring at incomprehensible instruction manuals for your new phone / TV / digital doorbell?

B
Of course it's wonderful to have a CD player, a mobile, a home computer, or an electric toaster, for that matter. But do you really want to play computer games on the 4 cm screen of you mobile phone? Do you need your computer to answer the phone, or your TV to make toast?

C
Digital TV is a perfect example. When it arrived, we were promised a better quality picture and more choice. But at eleven o'clock at night as you flick through the 97 channels you can now get, it is not the quality of the picture that you worry about. More the fact that not one single programme is worth watching.

D
After several frustrating weeks of finding all the right software for you new PC, then phoning ‘help’ desks when it doesn’t work, you will proudly show off your new machine to friends only to hear ‘Oh, are you still using that one? I’m thinking of buying the new PYX 5000, myself.’ A few months later, when you try to buy some minor spare part, you find it is no longer manufactured, and that it would be much cheaper to replace the whole computer with the new PYX 7500.

E
This is easy. Because very few people really understand how the machines they have bought work. So you phone the software company and they will tell you it’s a hardware problem. You then phone the hardware company and they tell you it’s a software problem. Call centres are the worst. Phone the so called ‘customer care’ number, and after waiting on hold for fifteen minutes you will be told you need the sales department. The sales department assure you that it’s the technical department you need, but surprise, surprise, the technical department put you back through to customer care. People can spend weeks of their lives like this.

F
Apparently, teenagers now do so much texting and e-mailing that their thumbs are getting bigger. Unfortunately, they are also forgetting how to spell. One American schoolgirl recently wrote her entire essay on ‘My summer holidays’ in text speak. It began ‘B4 we used 2go2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & thr 3 kids. ILNY it’s a GR8 plc.’
Or for you and me: ‘Before we used to go to New York to see my brother, his girlfriend and their three kids. I love New York it’s a great place.’

G
A recent survey showed that more than eight out often young people would rather text their friends or family than actually speak to them in person. And according to the same survey, twentyfive percent of people would answer their mobile phone even during a moment of passion. I ask you, is this really a better world?